So, you’re overwhelmed?
It’s chaos:
Kids are whining for snacks & someone is crying. The do list is longer than your already long day.
A phone is ringing (who knows where), the oven timer’s going off, and you can’t find anything, most especially your sanity.
Or maybe it’s the kind of overwhelm that doesn’t seem like it would be paralyzing to most-
But your stomach is in knots over how messy your house is,
or knowing you’ll be hanging out with a brand new group of peeps.
You might not even know why you can’t catch your breath or shake that mystery dread.
As someone who leans more anxious than chill, I’ve had to learn some tricks to managing those moments where all the alarms are going off in my head.
There’s so many tools & ideas out there of how to calm the heck down, but here’s a few ideas to get started!
13 Tips for unwinding anxiety
1. Make alone time
Zero time to yourself is the first step to going crazy.
(Trust me, this comes from experience.)
In the really stressful moments, make sure the kids are safe, and close the door on a private room. They might cry and bang on the door, but take a hot second to breathe away from the chaos.
Eventually- you gotta have uninterrupted time to yourself. I have to schedule it in the family Google calendar. Make it as important as any other appointment.
‘Me-time’ is crucial for the introvert- Extroverts recharge around people, introverts get their energy in alone time.
2. (Realistic) Exercise
Not a marathon. Not even a 5k. Unless that’s your jam, of course.
I’m talking like yoga on youtube, walk around the house, jumping jacks, 8 minute abs (the most fantastically 80’s workout video).
Even simple exercise gets your mind occupied, your muscles less tense, & you know, the whole endorphins thing!
“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t!” (Please tell me you’ve seen this movie.)
I know I’m less likely to work out if the exercise is intimidating or there’s too many limitations. Often the path of least resistance is to the mailbox and back.
3. Find sanctuary
Prepare a space you can chill in. I wrote about it here.
Messy room?
Make it a sanctuary. Try to always keep this one place clean.
(I know how impossible this seems!) Preferably somewhere the kids don’t usually hang out; for me, it’s my bedroom. We try to keep toys and kid stuff out of there, and that makes clean up faster. Life is chaotic, but it’s helpful to have a space where it isn’t. Drive somewhere pretty, go to the library, or find a chill coffee shop if you can’t find sanctuary in your own place.
4. Make a list
List the happy things! Really. Make a list of your dreams- new places you want to explore, a bucket list for the next season, a birthday wishlist.
Heck, write down all the things that ‘spark joy’.
I did this like 10 years ago on facebook as part of a thankful/thanksgiving post.
My husband secretly saved it when we first started dating and used it as reference for dates/gifts/etc. It was really sweet. Show yours to your bae (beau? boo? What are we saying these days?).
Making note of the things that make life fun helps me cut back on the negative self-talk, which feeds stress.
5. Get zen with some music
Lo-fi hip hop beats to relax/study to, anyone? This is my go-to playlist on spotify/youtube for almost everything.
If you’re the kind of person who can relax to heavy metal by all means…
But consider playing something positive or even neutral, whether or not you think the lyrics affect you.
You’re trying to de-stress here, save the emo throwbacks for a 2000’s themed party. Find what works for you, spotify has some great playlists if you’re needing ideas.
6. Phone a friend
Anxiety can feel isolating, so talking with someone who is on the outside of your problems can ease the stress.
Mindful venting helps me sort through the complicated feelings, but I have to put a cap on it eventually. When it turns into spiteful complaining, I’m right back where I started. No bueno.
7. Hop in the tub
Make it fancy. Use the scrubs, the bougie Lush bath bombs, shave your legs. Do what it takes to feel a little more special. Self-care, y’all.
8. Tea time
Tea, coffee, cocoa, hot buttered rum. Ooh, now I’m feelin’ festive.
Drink something hot.
It’s one of those things you have to do slowly. Almost meditative, a warm drink helps ya unwind and, according to my therapist, a healthy form of emotional processing. win-win.
9. Treat yo self
Buy yourself a flower, a latte, an audiobook.
Take a break to walk around the park or plant nursery.
Poke around a cute little boutique.
You’re worth it! I personally try to avoid rewarding myself with sweets (my main vice).
Think about small things that make you happy. Doesn’t have to cost money! Temporary distraction from the big stressors can ease some tension.
10. Get outside
There is healing in being in God’s creation, admiring beautiful things just for the heck of it. I’m lucky to live in a place where there are so many stunning places to explore. #PNWlife
Take advantage of any kind of fresh air around you. Whether it’s a trip to the Christmas tree farm, a tulip festival, waterfall hike, picnic in the yard- being out of technology and into the wild is good for your head.
11. Get crafty
Creative projects are emotional release! Take out that stress on a lump of bread dough or painting with the kids art supplies. Knitting, doodling, making a collage- work with your hands.
12. Pet a cat
Yes, I’m serious. Your kitty, a dog, the neighbors chinchilla. Find something warm and fuzzy and touch it. (Like, a living pet, not feral. Use your best judgement here.)
When I lived in Portland and didn’t have any cats, I’d find myself at the pet rescue down the street gettin’ all the kitten snugs. This can be another healthy form of emotional processing, and there’s science to prove it!
13. Write it out
Journaling is one of the best anti-anxiety tools out there. Handwrite you thoughts to paper. Put your dreams, experiences, reflect on how you feel. Sometimes the cause of your anxiety is not something you can share with another person. Journaling is great for expressing yourself privately.
It doesn’t have to be all sunshine and rainbows, either: write what’s making you feel like crap, who or what is stressing you out to the max, why you’re upset. Write this on a paper that you don’t want to keep. Then tear it to shreds and throw it away. Hey, burn it if you want! This can be healthy way to approach the stress, let it out, and let go.
You got this, mama. You are stronger than your anxiety!
There are times when the stress is overwhelming, the problems are bigger than a walk in the woods can solve. I get it.
For all those times that the smaller stuff starts to feel like a crisis, step back and do something for you. <3
“Always remember that, nine times out of ten, you probably aren’t having a full-on nervous breakdown – you just need a cup of tea and a biscuit.”
Caitlin Moran
What’s your favorite way to beat anxiety? What works and doesn’t work for you? Share your thoughts in the comments!