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You’ve got to have a some kind of retreat.
A place you feel like you can relax in. Whether you make it your whole home, or one room where you can safely say “This is my place to chill”.
Because running away to a quiet coffee shop or, better yet, like a vacay to Aruba is not always an option. (Especially, right now during the Covid! Oof.)
My sanctuary: this is where I go when I say “Jake, take your kids, I need some frickin’ me time”.
I could retreat to some random room in the house, like the bathroom.
But as you might imagine, it’s a little difficult to find inner peace sitting on the toilet lid or meditate on the edge of the tub.
So, my sanctuary is my bedroom.
This is where I relax, write, and do my thaang.
6 ways to make your happy place
1 .Find a place, keep it clean.
Easier said than done, I know. Toys, bottles, clothes, dishes somehow make their way around the house in the weirdest of places. (I found a motorcycle in the sink today.)
I tidy my sanctuary in two ways:
- Create boundaries for yourself and your fam.
Like making your bed every morning. It’s amazing how a made bed makes the room feel infinitely tidier.
Make it clear to the kids that this is not a place for toys.
There’s exceptions to every rule, but if the expectation in general is a no-toy-zone, those habits will eventually quit. We’re slowly getting there!
- Organize.
Have tools that make cleaning up easier. I won’t pretend that I am Marie Kondo by any means, but she did show me how to compartmentalize everything so it has a place.
Which I interpreted as: throw it in a cute basket and you’re good to go.
This method is working for me quite nicely.
I’m obsessed with rope baskets lately, and the oversized ones like this are perfect for storing the ‘couch blankets’ that get tossed around the room.
I also have little ones like these for storing the smaller stuff, and they look so cute on a shelf.
2. Change the lighting.
I’m writing this in the lil’ bedroom retreat. There’s a cloudy sunset outside, curtains wide open. I have my cute bedside lamps and pendant lamp on.
It’s pretty cozy.
I just cringe when I think of the fluorescent lighting in school or a like the dentist office. Bad light= stressful.
I have 2 rules of thumb (rule of thumbs?) in regard to lighting for atmosphere:
- Lamps vs overhead lighting.
- Overhead lighting is a feng-shui no-no.
Not that I know much about feng shui.
Like, have you ever been to someone’s house, who must be a little more penny-pinching,
and there’s a single lightbulb in an overhead light?
I feel like I’m being interrogated for a crime I never committed.
The only crime is the light is not distributed attractively around the room- say, with a few lamps to create some ambience. I also like rope lights or fairy lights to get some glow and general lighting around the room.
- Overhead lighting is a feng-shui no-no.
- Warm vs Bright.
- Warm lights – soft, yellower, peaceful-er. Yes, that’s a word today.
Bright lights- harsh, clinical, feels like I’m at Walmart.
Which isn’t a bad thing in itself, but like, Walmart is not my sanctuary, y’all. If we’re going that route, I’m headed to Target. <3
- Warm lights – soft, yellower, peaceful-er. Yes, that’s a word today.
3. Decorate in a way that you feel relaxed
Everybody has their own taste, so I won’t try to convince you that your house needs to be immaculately decorated to be happy in it.
I do have a wishlist of home decor stuff that makes me happy, but I work with what I got, especially on a tighter budget.
For me, it’s soft, muted colors against lots of white, leaning ever-so-slightly minimalist.
Consider:
- Putting up pictures you like! Like photos of your family, who you love so dearly, but are now getting a break from. Or- there’s some real cute art prints (or printables) on Amazon and Etsy. Rifle Paper Company is one of my faves for floral prints, calendars, etc.
- Add cozy textures. Doesn’t have to be expensive! The luxe stuff looks so nice, but there’s always room for some cute throw pillows or throw blanket, maybe at Home Goods or Amazon, my first go-to for affordable decor.
4. Make it comfortable.
While you’re at it, find a spot to sit that actually feels good. Somewhere you can throw that cute blanket or throw pillow.
Some people say hanging out on your bed for things other than sleeping or whatever else you regularly use it for could interfere with how you sleep, psychologically or something like that.
That may or may not be true for you, but wherever you make your cozy spot, try having some convenient tableside nearby, like this cute one. Somewhere to set your tea/book/Moscow Mule/candle.
I’m loving the hairpin leg trend.
5. Make it smell good.
You gotta please all five senses here, yo. If your sanctuary of choice reeks of day old coffee in a mug or diapers, it’s going to be a little more difficult to vibe out there.
- An essential oil diffuser is lovely. I personally love lavender & eucalyptus. There’s some great blends out there with Doterra or Young Living, if that’s your jam.
- Candles- can’t go wrong. My favorite candle in the whole wide world is probably the Capri Blue Volcano candle. Oh lawd, that smells heavenly, and there are some pretty containers if you buy at Anthropologie.
6. Bring in some life.
Pets! Plants!
I, very sadly, do not have cats in my life right now, but I do bring life into most rooms with houseplants! I could write a whole post on why houseplants are a good, nay, necessary addition to a room/home.
But I will summarize with that they:
- alleviate stress and depression. Gardening is therapy.
- increase the humidity in the air around them, especially helpful in dry winter air.
- have studies to back that houseplants contribute toward better air quality (just ask NASA).
- are pretty. Can’t argue with that.
People are happier around living & aesthetically-pleasing things. Cats and plants fit that category well.
Pothos (aka, Devil’s Ivy) are generally really easy plants to maintain, and I adore how mine look in macrame hangers.
That’s basically how I create a space I want to be in!
Having a sanctuary or place to retreat to when you have your own time is so important toward maintaining better mental health. Making that place somewhere you want to be will help to make it a place you can relax/ destress/just vibe.
Where do you find sanctuary, and how do you make it your own?